A Polite but Imperfect Request: A Miss Manners Perspective

Dear Miss Manners,

I was in line at a busy cosmetics store, waiting patiently for my turn to be served. The line was moving at a snail's pace, and I was starting to feel frustrated. That's when the woman behind me asked me to save her place. She said an employee had forgotten to give her something.

As I considered her request, I couldn't help but think that it was a bit unusual. I mean, who asks someone to hold their spot in line? But I also understood that she might be genuinely in need of assistance. So, I agreed to save her place and waited with her until the employee finally attended to us.

However, as we were waiting, I couldn't help but notice that the woman seemed a bit high maintenance. She kept checking her phone and glancing at her watch, even though we had been standing in line for several minutes already. It was clear that she was not going to be satisfied with anything less than perfect service.

When the employee finally arrived, it turned out that there was no problem after all. The employee had simply forgotten to give her a free gift that they usually offered to customers who purchased a certain amount of product. But by then, we were both growing impatient.

The woman's behavior left me feeling a bit frustrated and annoyed. I couldn't help but wonder if she would have been more considerate if she had just asked the employee politely instead of expecting me to hold her place in line. As it turned out, the employee did offer her a free gift, but not because of my holding her place.

Miss Manners, what do you think is polite and impolite behavior in this situation? Should I have felt entitled to feel frustrated with the woman's behavior?

Sincerely, A Confused Customer

Miss Manners' Response

Dear Confused Customer,

Ah, the age-old art of politeness in a busy store. It's a delicate balance between being kind and reasonable.

In this situation, the woman behind you did ask for your help, which is a perfectly polite thing to do. However, her behavior while waiting was not exactly exemplary. Checking her phone and glancing at her watch repeatedly can be seen as rude and inconsiderate of others around her.

As for holding her place in line, it's understandable that she wanted someone to save her spot, especially if she had been waiting for a while. But it would have been more considerate of her to offer you something in return, such as buying your product or offering to pay for the items you were purchasing.

Regarding the employee's mistake, it's unfortunate that they didn't remember to give her the free gift in the first place. However, it's not entirely clear why she was expecting you to hold her place indefinitely.

In terms of politeness, I would say that your behavior was reasonable given the circumstances. You agreed to help her out, and when the employee arrived, you waited patiently until they had attended to both of you. That's what good customers do!

However, I would also suggest being more mindful of the woman's behavior while waiting for her turn. A simple smile or acknowledgement of her presence might have made a big difference in how she felt.

As for feeling frustrated with the woman's behavior, it's not unreasonable to feel annoyed when someone is impolite or inconsiderate, especially if you're already feeling impatient due to the slow line. But try not to let your frustration boil over into rudeness, and instead focus on being patient and understanding.

In the future, if you find yourself in a similar situation, consider offering to help out a fellow customer while also keeping an eye on the time. You might say something like, "I'd be happy to hold your place for a few minutes, but if you need any help or have questions, feel free to ask me."

And who knows? You might even strike up a friendly conversation and turn a potentially frustrating experience into a pleasant one.

Sincerely, Miss Manners

Tips for Polite Behavior in Busy Stores

• When asking someone to hold your place in line, be sure to thank them in advance and offer some sort of gesture of gratitude, such as buying their product or offering to pay for the items they are purchasing.
• If you do decide to hold someone's place, try to keep an eye on the time and let them know when it's about to be their turn again.
• Be mindful of your surroundings and avoid distractions like checking your phone or glancing at your watch repeatedly.
• Smile and make eye contact with others around you – it can go a long way in making people feel more welcome and appreciated.
• If someone is impolite or inconsiderate, try to remain patient and understanding. Avoid getting frustrated or rude, as that's unlikely to improve the situation.

By being polite, considerate, and understanding, we can all make busy stores a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.