My Boyfriend Thinks His Pre-Sex Ritual Makes Him Dynamite in the Sack. I Disagree. - Slate Magazine

Title: Navigating Intoxication in Relationships: A Guide for Those Seeking Advice on Sex and Substance Use

Introduction

As a columnist for How to Do It, I've encountered numerous questions about intimate relationships, sex, and substance use. Recently, an anonymous reader sought guidance on how to navigate their boyfriend's decision to get high before sex. In this summary, we'll delve into the complexities of this issue, exploring the potential risks and benefits associated with intoxication in relationships.

Understanding Intoxication and Consent

When it comes to intimacy, consent is paramount. However, when one partner consumes substances that impair judgment, communication, or inhibitions, the dynamics of consent can become compromised. To establish a mutually respectful and safe environment for both partners, open communication and understanding are vital.

The Risks of Intoxication in Relationships

Getting high before sex can pose several risks to a relationship:

• Impaired Judgment: Substances can affect decision-making, leading to potentially reckless or non-consensual behavior.
• Communication Breakdowns: Impairment can result in misunderstandings, miscommunications, or unmet expectations.
• Lack of Emotional Regulation: Substance use can intensify emotions, making it challenging for partners to regulate their feelings and respond empathetically.

Benefits of Intoxication in Relationships

However, some individuals may find that substance use enhances their intimate experience:

• Relaxation and Trust: Substances can help create a sense of relaxation and trust, allowing partners to feel more comfortable with each other.
• Increased Sensitivity: Some people report increased sensitivity or heightened pleasure during substance-facilitated sex.
• Stress Relief: Substance use can provide temporary stress relief, which may positively impact intimacy.

Navigating the Issue

If you're considering sharing a substance with your partner before sex, it's essential to weigh the potential risks and benefits. Here are some steps to take:

1. Discuss Boundaries and Expectations: Talk openly about what you both feel comfortable with regarding substance use in relationships.
2. Establish Clear Communication Protocols: Set clear expectations for communication during and after substance use, ensuring that both partners can express their feelings and boundaries effectively.
3. Prioritize Trust and Respect: Emphasize the importance of trust and respect in your relationship, recognizing that substance use may compromise these values.

Additional Considerations

Before making any decisions about substance use in relationships, consider:

• Personal Health and Well-being: Substance use can have negative effects on physical health, mental well-being, and overall quality of life.
• Legal Consequences: Certain substances are illegal or regulated in many jurisdictions, so be aware of the laws in your area.
• Support System: Surround yourself with a support system that includes trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals if needed.

Conclusion

Navigating substance use and relationships can be complex. By prioritizing open communication, trust, and respect, individuals can make informed decisions about their intimate lives.